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Delisha

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Tuesday Musings: Facebook is the Devil

Not_facebook_not_like_thumbs_downI kid, I kid. Facebook is not, in fact, the devil. But, I do question whether social media in general is a good thing…and it looks like I’m not the only one. A few months ago, a study claimed that Facebook causes depression and isolation. I don’t think an actual study was necessary to prove that point. I’ve lost count of how many frantic calls I’ve gotten from friends that have started with “I was on Facebook,” and ended with some photo or status update about an ex or friend that reduced them to tears. I, too, have been tipped off to quite a bit of disturbing news via social media (“He got MARRIED?!?”). It happens. These “bombshells” can leave you reeling. But, I would argue that even the casual scroll through our newsfeeds can often have a negative effect on us, yet we don’t pick up on it until we’ve been consumed emotionally.

I am by no means a social media “power user.” I’ve never really had a desire to put my personal life on display for all friends and followers to see. I think social media is a great way to keep in touch and disseminate information, but I could take it or leave it. Despite this fact, even I sometimes find myself in the throws of the “cyber-voyeurism” that Facebook and other sites promote. I wish I could tell you that it’s always harmless, but then I wouldn’t be writing a post about it, would I?

My life is unconventional…and by unconventional, I mean very different than what I thought it would be. If you asked me ten years ago what I envisioned for myself in 2013, I would have predicted marriage, 2 kids, a stellar career at a large law firm, and probably some involvement on the creative side of music. I almost laughed out loud while typing that. Instead, I am a single, childless entrepreneur, and I’m not even sure I have a passion for music anymore. Don’t get me wrong. My life isn’t bad. Just different.

Recently, I left my office after what was a great day and had a thought: “you know, I may not have everything I want, and life may have taken all kinds of unexpected turns, but I’m proud of myself. This journey is not easy, but it’s mine, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” It felt good to accept what is and forget about what I thought life should be. THEN I started absentmindedly scrolling through Facebook. What do I see? This friend is engaged. They just got back from their honeymoon. Is that profile pic an actual sonogram photo? OMG, their new house is huge. How did he get hired by that television network? So how many vacations a year does she actually take? You get the idea. All of a sudden, that “I wouldn’t have it any other way” talk seemed like a lie. “You know what, I WOULD have it another way. My life kinda sucks.”

So what caused such a drastic change in my feelings in a matter of minutes? EGO. Ego is the part of you that focuses on everything about you that is different from everyone else. Or in the words of Wayne Dyer, “ego is just a collection of ideas that say, I am what I have, I am what I do, I am what other people think of me, I am separate from everyone else, I am separate from everything missing in my life, I am separate from God.”

For me, everything about my life seemed fine, wonderful even, until I started measuring it against a bunch of other people’s seemingly perfect existence. By comparing my story to someone else’s, I had let ego rule. I let it tell me that I was behind life’s schedule. I bought into the theory of “scarcity”… that there is not enough to go around, and we are all in competition. I allowed ego to convince me that by someone else winning, I had lost. It all sounds pretty ridiculous, now that I think about it.

As twenty-sixers, we’re already hard enough on ourselves. We have a tendency to feel like we should be “farther along” in general. The irony is that even if we had all of those things that we perceive to be out of reach, we still would not be happy if living in an ego-driven state. How do I know this to be true? Because the ego is never satisfied. The minute someone with a “better” life comes along, it starts the process all over again. Hinging our own happiness and satisfaction with life on what is going on with others is a recipe for failure. It can be debilitating. Before you know it, you’ve moved from a place of contentment to jealousy, resentment, and even depression.

Comparing ourselves to others really is a monumental waste of time and energy, but it happens almost naturally. So, how do we cope? First and foremost, we must live in a state of gratitude. No matter how hard life may get, I have to acknowledge that some pretty great things have happened to me over the years, and every day that I get to work toward my dreams is a blessing. I promise you, if you are thankful for what you do have, it not only makes you feel better, but also draws more good into your life. Remember – whatever you feed grows!  Next, find encouragement and inspiration in someone else’s good fortune. It really is a reminder that success is attainable and “if it happened for them, it can happen for me.” Lastly, have a laser-like focus on your own goals and dreams. We often look at someone else’s end result without considering what it took for them to get there. Everyone has a back story, so get to work on yours! If you are working diligently towards those big goals of yours, it is highly unlikely that you have much time to worry about what everyone else is doing.

And if none of that works, take comfort in the fact most of the folks on Facebook are exaggerating about how great their lives are anyway. You’re probably comparing yourself to someone whose ego won’t allow them to be completely honest with themselves or you. Go figure. What story has your ego sold you lately? And how do you plan to rewrite it? Let me know!

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The Monday Morning Move: Eat Well!

MondayThe Monday Morning Move is back! Where did the last 7 days go? This week, I decided to continue on the health and wellness kick and tackle another one of my bad habits – skipping breakfast. I have never been a big breakfast person mainly because I’m rarely hungry first thing in the morning, and I’d rather use that time doing something else…like getting a few extra minutes of sleep. During my entire college career, I made it to the cafeteria before my first class probably three times. It just isn’t my thing. But, we all know how important the first meal of the day is. And I know I can’t keep up these workouts without it.

I chose to go with a smoothie, given its health benefits. Of course there are tons of different smoothie recipes out there, but the right one can 1. ensure you’re properly hydrated at the beginning of the day; 2. give you a number of nature’s bio-available vitamins, nutrients, and antioxidants; 3. give you plenty of natural fiber; and 4. boost your immune system. This morning, I tried an oats smoothie (thanks for the recipe, Mom!). Once again, my prep started on Sunday. I was out of town this weekend. So, I focused on my MMM later than I would have liked. After fighting traffic for four hours, I had to pick up ingredients in the evening. THREE stores later (note to self: just go straight to Whole Foods for specialty items), I had everything I needed. Despite getting home later than expected, I still managed to get to bed by 10:00. Too bad I didn’t fall asleep for 90 minutes. And once again, I woke up 4 hours later. Ugh. On a positive note, I did manage to go back to sleep at some point.

This morning, I was a tad bit groggy and probably would have skipped the MMM if I didn’t have to write about it on the site. But I managed to drag myself to the kitchen and get it done. Success. I’ve been sipping this smoothie as I write this post. It seems like a chore, considering that I’m STILL not hungry…but I think I’ll stick with it. Clarity of mind and peak productivity both require a healthy lifestyle, which includes three balanced meals per day. Let’s see if I can keep it up.

 A tip – steel cut oats and organic milk are generally cheaper in the regular grocery store, but
hemp seeds will likely be nowhere in sight. Try a health food store.
 

If you’re interested, here’s the recipe I used:

  • 1 cup of steel cut oats (rich in B-vitamins, protein, calcium and fiber; low in sodium; helps eliminate fat from the body)
  • 1/2 cup of organic milk (contains higher concentrations of Omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants)
  • 1 tablespoon of hemp seeds (too many to list – contain all 9 essential amino acids, high amounts of fatty acids and fiber; help lower cholesterol and blood pressure)
  • 1 banana (great source of vitamin B6, potasssium, and  fiber; prevents cancer; improves digestive health)
  • A few berries (I chose strawberries, which are high in vitamin C; also contain antioxidants; prevent cancer; reduce inflammation)
  • A few nuts (Almonds for me – reduce heart attack risk; lower cholesterol; protect artery walls from damage; provide good brain function; alkalize the body)

*Even though the recipe didn’t call for it, I added a tablespoon of honey…because who doesn’t love honey? Plus, this natural sweetener prevents cancer, reduces ulcers and gastrointestinal disorders, kills bacteria, and regulates blood sugar. These are just a few of  its many benefits. Google it! 

A working breakfast...and yes, I'm drinking a smoothie out of a wine glass. Who says breakfast can't be fancy? A working breakfast…and yes, I’m drinking a smoothie out of a wine glass. Who says breakfast can’t be fancy?

In terms of taste, this smoothie is a win! The consistency left a a lot to be desired. I’m pretty sure a smoothie should actually be smooth. The culprit – steel cut oats…which I learned after the fact do not blend so well. Next time, I’ll try to process them ahead of time.

Don’t forget to tell me about your own Monday Monday Move in the comments section. Here’s to a purposeful week!

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Legal FAQ: When should I set up an entity for my start-up business?

There are a few factors to consider when making this decision. If you are actively engaged in business activities that creates liability concerns (translation: you could be sued), you should formally set up your business immediately. This goes without question. Conducting business without organizing or incorporating under state law will leave you open to personal liability should a judgment be entered against you. In other words, if a legal or financial disaster occurs, your personal assets could be seized.

If you are in the early planning stages and have not yet hit the marketplace, you MIGHT be able to hold off. If you are a working alone and are still fleshing out your ideas, it may be a little early to form a company. However, if you are collaborating with one or more partners and everyone involved has agreed that you have a business endeavor worth pursuing, create an entity as soon as possible. This will help flesh out such key considerations as 1. how ownership of the company will be divided; 2. what happens if one partner decides to jump ship; and 3. whether the company will own any related intellectual property created by a partner. Whether you are a sole founder or have partners, if you are seeking outside funding from investors, you most certainly should set up an entity. This will prevent unnecessary tax problems when issuing stock in exchange for investment.

No matter the circumstances, forming an entity gives you credibility when promoting your business to outside parties and entering early-stage contracts with vendors, potential partners, consultants, etc.. Simply put, it will help you begin to build your brand. One last point – skip the online company formation services. They talk a good game, but will not  consider the intricacies of your business and advise you on what corporate structure is best for you. Consult a business attorney. It will cost, but will potentially save you a considerable amount of money down the road.

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Real Life Resource: Evernote

EvernoteRemember when I promised that this site would be one part practicality? Well, I am working on offering tools that will ensure that my fellow twenty-sixers are not only inspired, but also producing real results. With that being said, welcome to the “Real Life Resource” segment! I think the name speaks for itself. Every Wednesday, we’ll take a step back from all the motivational talk and take a look at one tool to help us be more productive, efficient and…well, extraordinary.

Because we dream so big and work so hard, twenty-sixers are often juggling many responsibilities at any given time. And frankly, it can be difficult to keep things organized. In my quest to better manage all of my projects,  I came across a Real Life Resource which has literally helped me do more in less time. It’s called Evernote, and like the website says, it helps me remember everything. This is one of my favorite programs of all time. It is literally an electronic notebook or binder. It’s like a Trapper Keeper for the 21st Century (Remember that little velcroed contraption from the 80’s? LOVED it!).

Evernote Homepage

You can capture anything (photos, documents, notes, etc.) in one place and organize with tags, keywords, and the like. I create separate notebooks for each project or plan I’m working on, and  simply drop every related document into it. So,when I’m ready to get to work, I don’t waste valuable time trying to gather a bunch of random materials that I’ve collected over a period of days, or worse, weeks. My favorite feature is probably the “web clipper.” It is a button you can install in your web browser. If you’re on a web page that you’d like to reference again later, you just click the web clipper button and the actual page is captured and added to the notebook that you choose. This is especially great if you’re web surfing or researching for inspiration. A few clicks and you can have a stack of information to review later without ever breaking your flow, printing anything, or using those cluttered bookmarks.

Evernote Mobile

Other bonus features – a search box to quickly find things, a security encryption feature to lock confidential information, and the ability to search handwritten text that has been scanned to your computer. You can even forward emails directly to one of your Evernote notebooks without ever leaving your inbox! Lastly, you can access your stuff from ANYWHERE – the web, your computer program, or a phone app. So, while helping you stay organized, it also acts like a backup service for all of your “stuff.” Win-Win. While there is a paid version of this program, I find the free one serves all my needs. It is very easy to set up, although it may take some time to initially organize all of your documents.

Let me know in the comments section how Evernote might help you work smarter. If you have any questions about how I use the program, feel free to mention those too.

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