The 3 R’s of Crisis Survival

In my profession, there are a few characteristics that make up a great client: 1. Easy to work with; 2. Presents interesting legal issues; 3. Trusts my judgment; 4. Pays well; 5. Pays on time; and 6. Pays without complaining. I worked with one client who embodied all of these characteristics. We’ll call him Ted.[i] Ted was seriously the best of the best. At least once a week, I wanted to send him a fruit basket just to say “thank you for not making my life a living hell.” Over an extended period of time, I had resolved a variety of legal issues for him, and we were preparing to move on to some exciting things. Then, one day while happily tapping away on my computer, I notice his number flash across my caller ID. I found this odd because Ted never calls me without scheduling ahead of time.

From the moment I picked the phone up, I knew something was up. Ted’s tone was friendly, but hesitant. I cut right to the chase – “What’s the problem?” Ted had decided to start working with a very large firm. He immediately started explaining: “I really love your work, and I’m so happy with the way things have gone so far.” When we finally got to the bottom of why he was ditching me, it made absolute sense. I told him that I supported his decision and was happy for him. We exchanged pleasantries, he paid his final bill, and that was that. I moved on with my day and didn’t think much of losing Ted…until I left the office.

While walking up Broadway in Midtown Manhattan, the internal dialogue began. “OMG, do know you know how much money just walked out the door?! You cannot afford to lose a good client right now. What if this happens with every good client? What if you’re stuck with the ones who don’t pay their bills? What if you go bankrupt? Why did you start this firm in the first place?” It sounds dramatic, but this was my exact train of thought. Funny how one not-so-great result can lead to full-on panic in a matter of minutes.

I tried to push those negative thoughts out of my head. Then it hit me. “Oh God.” I suddenly remembered that I was also in the process of severing a rather lucrative business relationship. Two major income sources down the drain in the same week. You may be wondering why this little factoid didn’t pop in my head sooner. Well, working in a high-stress profession like the law while under the constant pressure of entrepreneurship, I’ve learned to compartmentalize very well. In any event, I kept walking, feeling more deflated with each block. By the time I got home, my head was spinning. I would need to start adjusting budgets or getting new clients through the door STAT.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m an overachiever. I pride myself on being able to find a solution and “get it done.” So, normally in a situation like this, I would spring into action and devise a whole plan to soften the blow, so to speak. But, for whatever reason, I couldn’t bring myself to face the issue immediately. So, I did something completely out of character under the circumstance. I watched mindless television, then went to bed. The next day, I worked from home, did only what was necessary, and even managed to take an afternoon nap. The next day, I slept in. That weekend, I left town to visit friends. You get the idea. By the following week, I felt a little guilty for ignoring what could potentially be a significant financial crisis, but I just didn’t have the energy to deal. I was burned out and out of ideas. So, instead of panicking, I decided to get some much needed rest.

Then one day, the phone rang. Then it rang again. A couple of new clients. SCORE. Not a permanent solution, but enough to quell any immediate fears and allow me to keep forging ahead toward my long term goals for this little firm of mine. Weeks later, as I was going about my normal routine, I thought about how that initial anxiety over Ted’s departure had become a distant memory. I was reminded that things always seem to work out in the end. And I realized that resting while waiting for things to work out felt a whole lot better than panicking.

At some point, a legitimate crisis will fall right into your lap through no fault of your own, and all you will be able to control is your response. So, how do you cope with life’s curveballs? Try one of the 3 Rs:

1. Rest – My great uncle once told me, “There are two things you shouldn’t worry about – things you can’t do anything about and things you can do something about.” It may seem counterproductive, but sometimes the best action is no action at all. If you simply don’t know what to do, or the circumstances are completely out of your control, don’t waste time worrying. It really is a useless emotion. Take a breather until the outcome presents itself or until you have a better idea of what your next move should be. Resting can mean actual sleep, mere relaxation, or just refusing to focus your thoughts on the crisis.

2. Rush – There are times when trouble comes and you are not meant to bury your head in the sand. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing exactly what you’ve been put on this earth to do. Life happens. You may get thrown off track. Obstacles present themselves. Sometimes you just have to take the hits, block out the distractions, and aggressively forge ahead. If you feel you can keep going, you should, no matter how hard it seems. Look at the bright side. Progressing in the face of adversity makes for a better story anyway.

3. Reset – Sometimes we make bad decisions, take a wrong turn, or pursue the wrong things. It’s a part of being human. If it seems that nothing is going right, take some time to reflect and reevaluate. It might be time to ctrl+alt+del your entire plan and start over with a new one. This one is tricky because sometimes mere obstacles can show up dressed as a bad decision. So, before you throw in the towel on a given path, assess everything – your successes and failures, the pros and the cons. If you think about it long enough it, you’ll know whether it’s a jedi mind trick trying to get you to quit or if you really should start over.

The 3 Rs can help you through pretty much any challenge. The key is knowing which “R” applies. You may even find that some problems require more than one. I’m a firm believer that our instincts are better than we give them credit for, but if you’re afraid to trust your own intuition, talk it out with someone else. Just make sure they have a level head. No Negative Nancy’s or Anxious Annie’s allowed. One final tip to help you choose the right R: the least natural response for you is probably the R you should choose. Why, you ask? Because everything happens for us, not to us. Everything occurring in your life is meant to stretch you and make you better. So, if it feels uncomfortable, it just might be the right way to go.