Four years ago today, my beloved grandmother passed away at the age of 67, roughly five weeks before my law school graduation. I was devastated. The story of her transition is one that I still cannot fully recount without falling apart, so I’ll spare you the details here. But, there is a reason why I’ve chosen to launch this site on the anniversary of her death and the hardest day of the year for me. I usually spend April 9^th battling intense feelings of loss and grief, but I’ve decided that misery is no way to pay homage to the greatest earthly source of love and light that I have yet to encounter. Instead, I believe the best way to honor her legacy is to be a living example of what it means to lead an extraordinary life even on the darkest of days. With that being said, welcome to December 26er (if you’re not sure what the site is all about, learn more here). I’m not good with long introductions, so let’s jump right into it.

We often think of death as a finite event. I mean, while various religions and spiritual belief systems promote life after death, it’s hard to deny how gut-wrenching the end of an earthly connection with someone can be. It is a very real void that I’m still working through. But having to move through life with only the recollections of my grandmother has brought all kinds of lessons that I may have not otherwise gotten. For example, the other day, one particular memory popped into mind.

I was cooking dinner, something I do a lot more often now that I have to keep a business and home financially afloat. Just as I was turning down a pot of rice, I thought about her. My grandmother, or “nana” as I liked to call her, was an AMAZING cook, and everyone knew it. She always had an open door policy, so it was not uncommon for neighbors and friends to stop by for a meal at random. Nana’s culinary repertoire was vast, but no matter what was being served, there almost always seemed to be a large batch of white rice being kept warm in the oldest, most banged up pot imaginable on the back burner of stove. Everyone in the house would feed off that rice, and whatever was left over at the end of the night would be thrown out back for the birds’ morning meal.

I loved the stuff as a kid, so I never thought anything of it (I now know that no one should be eating that much rice, but I digress). As I got older, however, I realized how tight things were for my grandparents financially. My grandfather had fallen ill and gone blind years prior, and my grandmother was the main breadwinner. That pot of rice was not a delicacy. It was a NECESSITY… a way to stretch meals and ensure everyone had enough to eat. Now, years later, as I stood in my own kitchen, stressed as always about business and personal concerns, budgets and the like, it all clicked: “You’ve got to put a pot of rice on, Delisha.” In other words, “you have to be resourceful!”

When I talk to friends and colleagues about life goals and dreams, a common thread is often what we don’t have, but need in order to achieve. This kind of negative talk causes a domino effect. We become so focused on what we think is outside of our grasp, yet oh so necessary, that we fail to notice and utilize all the resources we do have. Here is the hard truth.  There will always be more “out there” that would make your journey a little easier – more money, more advice, more connections, more talent. You name it. But if you don’t have “more,” crying foul and playing victim isn’t going to get you anywhere. You’ve got to put your own pot of rice on. You have to take stock of every gift, idea, person, and opportunity within reach and make it work for you. Get creative. Do the work. What you have may not be much, but it’s enough to get started and will likely take you much farther than you think. Do this, and I promise, at some point, you’ll look back and realize that you never even needed more.

What dream or goal have you dismissed or delayed due to a perceived lack of resources? Leave a comment explaining how you plan put your own pot of rice on to get back on track!